Parents Say the Darndest Things

January 21, 2018

 twin parenting humor

Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding endeavors. Although it can at times feel so hard that you may contemplate plucking your eyeballs out, it is always, always worth it. Lucky for you, your twins probably know just when to insert a funny or heartfelt moment to fuel you through all the craziness.

Fellow members of the Twin Tribe have posted their funniest tweets, and these may be just what you need to hear as you plunge full steam ahead into the oftentimes stressful holiday season. Here are some of TwinGo’s favorite parent quotes of late. Sit back, grab a cup of cocoa, and enjoy these hilarious parenting moments.

Entertainment just isn’t what it used to be

Robb Dogg‏ @The_Dogghouse
Parenting twins is 60% keeping them alive, 20% mediating toy fights, and 20% standing around to see how this episode of Elena of Avalor ends (even though I’ve seen this episode before)

Kristen Strunga‏ @KristenStrunga
We pulled off watching both seasons of @Stranger_Things in one week while working full-time jobs and parenting 1 1/2 year old twins. I’d like to thank the academy, Netflix, @milliebbrown, @GatenM123, the entire cast and crew...

TwinzerDad‏ @TwinzerDad
I've read Noah's Ark so many times today that I've started making up alternate endings. Latest one had an appearance by Jack Dawson from Titanic. #Dadlife #Parenting #Twins

Martin Gleeson‏ @MartyJG13
The empties after a night's drinking ain't what they used to be #parenting #twins #cantgetenough

twin parenting humor on twin blog

Team Cartwright‏ @team_cartwright
1 yr old twins keep sneaking toy spoons into nap time. Be honest, who let them watch Shawshank? #twinlife #parenting #momlife

We Three Janes of Armying Are‏ @sgtjanedoe
Here in my twins' room, listening to my daughter fart, wondering if she'll poop before or after she falls asleep. Parenting is a blessing.

Meals have become more interesting

Melissa Nemire‏ @MelissaNemire 
My twins keep bringing me food they want to eat I didn't know we had. Yet that toy on the floor in front of them is invisible. #parenting

TwinzerDad‏ @TwinzerDad
Giving my twins each a donut & live streaming it on prob isn't going to win me any parenting awards. Maybe the Toddler's Choice award tho...

Terry Brock‏ @brockter
Basic law of #parenting: a baby will wake up within the first two bites of any meal you are about to eat. #twins #imsohungry

TwinzerDad‏ @TwinzerDad
The other twin has picked up my empty coffee cup 3 times and stared at it in disbelief. So yeah, that one is probably mine too. #Dadlife #Parenting #PaternityConfirmed #Twins

Survival has also taken on new meaning

Robert Knop‏ @FatherWithTwins

Dan Doerksen‏ @DanDoerksen
Considering that kids get a full 12 hours of sleep, I feel that they should have much better attitudes I only get 7 hours and I never feel like biting other people in the face #kidsarecrazy #parentingtwins

Rad Young Things‏ @RadYoungThings
Waking up after a long night of teething twins feels like I was a surviving character from this film. #dadblog #Parenting #Parents #dads

twin parenting humor on twin blog

Then there is all the twin specific craziness you cannot even begin to explain

Kristen Marée Cleary‏ @spinster_mom
Hell hath no fury like a child who you’ve called by their real name while they’re pretending to be someone else. #parenting #mom #twins #toddlers #momlife #parents #Parenthood

Megan Dvorak Quiah‏ @MissRoxy
Potty training our twins this weekend. Send wine and don’t stop until they’re 18. #parenting #ToddlerLife

TwinzerDad‏ @TwinzerDad
Since having twins, my wife and I have come up with a special name for Laundry Day. We call it "Every Day" #Dadlife #Parenting

Diane DeMasi Johnson‏ @DianeDeMasi
My twins were arguing. Twin B says to his brother, "You're ugly!" ME: Um, you're identical. TwinB: Oh right. #parenting #haha #fail

Alexis Allen‏ @alexis_mae96
I just met two little 6 year old twins and their names were Luke and Leia. That's what great parenting looks like folks

Rhonda Doerksen‏ @HeideRhonda

twin parent humor
#twinmom #twins #parenting

Holidays can be fun as you re-live them through the eyes of your twins, but adulting during them sucks

MyTwinsTravel‏ @MyTwinsTravel
You know you're a mom when the first thing you think of when seeing a beautiful airport Christmas tree display is "aren't Poinsettias poisonous?" #tmom #tdad #parenting #holidaytravel #kidsntrips #travelwithkids #Christmas #HolidaySeason #holidaycheer #momlife

When your singleton parent friends try to relate to you and you just shake your head

TwinzerDad‏ @TwinzerDad
One of the best things about having twins is your friends tagging you in the same baby monitor video of twins climbing out of their cribs and running around their bedroom at least once a week for the rest of your life. #Dadlife #Parenting

And politics have taken an interesting turn

DJP‏ @djperry1973 Sep 25
I realized I was crushing parenting in 2017 when one of my 3yo twins started singing the bridge to "Where's the Revolution?" unprompted

We hope you are enjoying your twin journey as much as we are!